


White Lies (What’s in a Name?)

by ohmygoshwhatascream



Category: Xenoblade Chronicles 2 (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, argumemts, bc I am WEAK and have no self control, but I made it soft at the end, but dumb arguments bc these 2 are big old dumbos, it was supposed to be funny, look at them being all hot garbage, the devil works hard but i work harder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 06:53:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19785529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmygoshwhatascream/pseuds/ohmygoshwhatascream
Summary: Zeke should really think these things through.





	White Lies (What’s in a Name?)

**Author's Note:**

> Uhhh I’m back again bc I have no life!!! 
> 
> This was supposed to be funny but I’m actually not funny so we made it go soft af bc I’m 16 damnit and my sad ass can pretend they know what love is.
> 
> Honestly ngl this took twice as long as I thought it would bc I literally had to make up stupid names for Zeke’s actions bc you bet your ass I think Zeke has a title for literally everything he does.

“Pandy!” No reply. Just the cold, empty silence of being ignored by your dearest companion.

“Pandy! Oi, Pandy! Wake up!” He hisses, trying again - this time much louder.

Pandoria lets out an irritated groan before clumsily flailing one hand against his face. “Go back to sleep, My Prince.” She murmurs her hand pushing flat against his mouth and her fingernails (painted a very pretty sea foam green) dig sharp against his cheek. He splutters out an indignant reply, but she (very rudely!) ignores him. Instead, she chooses to burrow deeper into the genuine mountain of blankets that the inn had supplied.

Drat! The ultimate defence! Her impenetrable barrier of blankets, combined with her already naturally high resistance to Thunderbolt Zeke’s Ultimate Waking Technique means that his attempted attack is futile. It misses, and she remains blissfully snuggled up in her makeshift cocoon. With a defeated howl, he flops dramatically back onto their shared bed. He has to rethink his battle strategy! This is no ordinary fight!

“Pandy!” He groans, attempting a new angle of offence. With an expression befitting of a completely broken man, he attempts once more to rouse his blade. He always knew his masterful skills of persuasion would come in handy one day. “Pandy! You don’t understand, this is something extremely important! Miss this, and you’ll regret the day you ever attempted to ignore Zeke von Genbu for the rest of your life!” His voice oozes with his own natural brand of charisma (a powerful weapon in itself) and he punctuates his words with a grand pose that will most certainly show Pandy how essential it is for her to wake up. Ha! He’d like to see her dodge that!

She hums a noncommittal sound and Zeke holds his breath... Any moment now... But, alas! The impossible happens! His attack misses! Zeke can only watch in despair as Pandy nuzzles into the soft pillows, seemingly completely unaware of the miraculous feat she just accomplished. How had she remained completely unaffected? What kind of powers has she been hiding from him?

But Thunderbolt Zeke is a stubborn man! He refuses to give up now! There must be something he can do...

Ah. Yes.

He can use his ultimate power. The power that is so great, so unfathomably strong, that he swore he would never use it against another living being. But desperate times call for desperate measures, and this is more than a desperate time! Why, it’s utterly catastrophic!

He concentrates, fists clenched as he feels raw, unfiltered power surge towards his left eye. With that, his deadliest move begins. His Eye of Shining Justice can begin its devastating attack.

“Turters!” Zeke roars, power surging as his hidden art, Ultimate Destruction: Exploitation of True Love commences. “Turters!” He repeats, his left eye granting him the unimaginable power to masterfully create an aura of panic and unfaltering emotion that is sure to wake Pandora up in a flash. “Pandy! Turters! H-he’s...” the stutter arrives at the perfect time, his voice faltering ever so slightly as his power grows to godlike heights. “He’s gone!” The finale, a heartbroken sob combined with a voice that cracks and trembles with incomprehensible feelings of sorrow, seals the deal.

It’s a critical hit. Pandoria shoots up, lightbulbs flashing wildly as she scrambles off the bed, duvet and blankets tumbling off with a muffled whump. “He’s gone? Oh, architect. He’s so little! Are you sure he’s not in bed? How long has he been gone? Where- I can’t see. Where are my glasses?” She babbles, panic clear in her voice. Zeke can’t help but feel a surge of guilt at her reaction. She’s going to be furious when she realises that this was just a ruse to wake her up. He should really start thinking before he does things.

“Ugh! Where are they? I need them now! Turters could be anywhere!” Her hands smack loudly against the bedside table as she desperately fumbles around for her glasses. Her poor eyesight is only worsened by the gloom of the room, something that she grumbles under her breath as she almost knocks over one of the inn’s really ugly tabletop lamps. She finds them with a small, slightly shaky cheer, quickly putting them on as she rushes to Zeke’s scrunched up coat - the ultimate bed for small tortoise friends. She moves with startling speed, but Zeke still catches the pain stricken expression plastered on her face. The Eye of Shining Justice had certainly proved to be effective.

...Maybe too effective. Architect, he feels like a right wanker.

“The poor little guy. We’ve got to find him! What happens if he’s gotten outside? It’s so cold he could be-“

Her words suddenly cut off. There’s a pause. A long, silent pause. The room suddenly feels... colder. Icy and brittle, the atmosphere shifts into something foreboding and - if Zeke’s being quite honest - pretty terrifying.

Pandoria turns to face him, small hands gently cradling their little green pal. Zeke looks at Turters. He’s completely unharmed, because there was nothing wrong in the first place. In fact - dare he say it, Turters looks quite affronted about his current situation, he’d probably been fast asleep dreaming of whatever tortoises dream of. Even still, he looks so sleepy and cute, the perfect mascot for such a perfect duo. Zeke can’t help but smile and coo, waving his fingers at the little guy.

A fizzle. Something changes. Zeke’s hair stands on its ends and there’s something strangely... electric in the room. He stops making kissy noises at Turters. It’s time to face the music, or the feeling of one million volts of electricity going through his body - he can’t say he doesn’t deserve it.

“He’s fine.” Pandoria grits out, words mangled behind her clenched teeth. “He’s fine, and you knew.” Her face is dark, overshadowed like thunderous clouds. Her flickering lightbulbs highlight the contours of her face and illuminate her furious eyes from underneath her spectacles.

Unfortunately, exploitation of power as mighty as the Eye of Shining Justice can create some... undesired effect, as demonstrated here. Yeah, he definitely feels like a massive tool. But he thinks there might still be some power left in him. Maybe, just maybe, he can win her good favour through another display of heart-stopping charisma and charm.

Well, it’s worth a try.

“Ah, Pandy! You don’t understand! This was my only choice! If only you had listened to me at first...” a growl from Pandoria has him hastily changing his words. Not the best of starts, but maybe he can turn this loss around. “I mean, I was in desperate need of your attention!” He booms, giving her a winning smile that is sure to make even her heart swoon with love. (Or it might just make her less murderous-looking. Either one is fine, Zeke von Genbu is not a fussy man.)

She raises one unimpressed eyebrow, gently putting Turters back into the makeshift nest from Zeke’s long coat. Zeke gulps, preparing himself for the oncoming storm. “I don’t care, my prince. I’m tired. Tell me tomorrow.” She glowers and her Unwavering Gaze of Fury (an attack that Zeke is most certainly weak to!) almost - key word being almost - makes Zeke back down from his advance. He steels himself through her icy stare as he scours his mind for a suitable rebuttal. A Grand Show of Chivalry? Maybe mix in a bit of heroic posing? He’s really scraping the bottle of the barrel here. These arts are usually exclusive to the skill that is wooing your adorable spunky blade girlfriend, but he’s really running out of options here.

“No! Pandy, I will not let the villainous clutch of sleep take you away from me once more!” Her glare darkness. Yeah, this definitely was not the right choice. With his battlements destroyed and his reinforcements failures, Zeke has to resort to his final line of defence. Well. Here goes nothing;

“That is to say, if you listen to me now I won’t bother you again! Please, Pandy! Please!” He wrings his hands together, gaze desperate but he’s certainly not - in any way shape or form - begging for her to listen to him. There is a zero percent chance that he is doing such a thing. He’s merely... strategically compromising. That’s it! That’s what his defence is! Strategically compromising... it could do with a better name though, but now’s really not the time to be thinking about this kind of thing.

“Alright, alright!” She heaves a great sigh as if Zeke is being unreasonably difficult. He is. He’s lucky she puts up with him. “I’ll listen, but this better be good! If you woke me up AND scared the crap outta me for nothing, I’ll be even more angry with you, my prince!” She pauses. “And I’m still angry with you! I’m just too tired to be mad, okay? You better be prepared for later!” She adds on with a huff, arms folded tightly across her chest.

He beams. This is going much better than he thought it would. “Pandy, thank you my dear! You are a beaming light in my darkest nights, you’re kind soul shines-“ she smacks his arm.

“Shut up!” She hisses. “Stop giving me dumb compliments and say what you wanna say so I can go back to sleep!” Her nose scrunches as she frowns at him, and her tired eyes crinkle behind her glasses as she scowls. Zeke has to stop himself from saying how incredibly cute she looks with her hair all ruffled and messy and the pillow creases lining the right side of her face. (He really, really wants to tell her how adorable she is, but he’s worried she might electrocute him if he keeps her awake any longer)

“Ah. Right. Well.” He begins, clearing his throat as he prepares for the presentation of his Brilliantly Superb Idea. He suddenly feels very nervous, though. Maybe it’s the sudden realisation that his Brilliantly Superb Idea isn’t all that brilliant or superb, and Pandoria might actually kill him when she realises that he scared the life out of her for this. He’s too far in this now, though. He has to see it to the end.

With a nervous breath, he begins his grand speech. “You know me, Pandy. I am a man of many talents and many names.” The gaze she shoots him is so deadpan, so emotionally dead, that Zeke instantly falters. Yeah, this really wasn’t a good idea. He should really start thinking before he opens his mouth.

“I- uh, well... names! I have many names. Thunderbolt Zeke! Zeke von Genbu, Bringer of Chaos! And I’ve been thinking, while those are perfectly accurate and brilliant names...” he gulps at Pandoria’s darkening expression. Yeah, there’s no words to describe how awful of an idea this was. How Pandoria manages to look both simultaneously adorable yet utterly terrifying is beyond a mystery to him.

“Well, they’re a bit long. Don’t you think?” He pauses, the original intent of this strategic pause to allow a thought provoking moment for Pandoria. One where her eyes would widen with realisation as she realised what a genius her prince really was.

Well, plans change. That’s certainly not happening any time soon and he hurriedly continues as Pandoria opens her mouth to no doubt tell him just how angry she is with him right now, and why on earth he thought this was a good enough reason to unleash his sealed power in order to wake her up.

“But, do not fear!” Pandoria’s never looked less scared in all her life. “I have a grand solution!” He raises his hand, one finger pointing skyward to emphasise the grandness of his brilliant, well thought out solution. His hand is shaking. But he’s too far in now, he has to see this to it’s pathetic end. “From now on, I will also be known as...” a perfectly timed pause allows for the dramatic tension to build. Pandoria isn’t amsused. Zeke’s not amused. He tried to hold the pause for as long as he deems acceptable. He really doesn’t want to die when Pandoria realises what he woke her up for.

“The Zekenator!” He roars, arm’s spread wide and grin broad and blinding. At least, it’s supposed to be. He’s pretty sure it’s more of a grimace and the only thing that’s blinding is the furiously flashing lights on Pandoria’s shoulders.

When he had envisioned this interaction, he’d imagined more... cheering. More awe, more shock, more... well, a positive reaction would have been nice.

Unfortunately, The Zekenator’s (to be fair to himself, that sounds pretty damn cool) bad luck seems to have struck again, because Pandoria’s shoulders are now beginning to spark and fizzle in a way that is so horrifically terrifying that Zeke may have backed away in fear - but only a teeny tiny bit.

He closes his eyes, bracing himself for the worst, but nothing happens.

Squinting, Zeke takes a hesitant look at his partner. She shakes her head, placing her spectacles on the bedside table and rubbing roughly at her eyes. With a defeated expression, she flops back down onto the bed.

She looks tired. Like, really tired. He knows he really scared her with the whole Turters thing as well, because he loves that tortoise just as much as she does and the thought of anything happening to the little guy... well, he’d be furious if his emotions had been manipulated like that.

He feels kind of like an asshole.

The room is dim, but Pandoria’s bulbs have dimmed considerably, but they glow just enough to illuminate the expression on her face. Her lips are pursed thin and her eyes are squeezed far too tight for someone trying to get to sleep. He knows that expression. It’s the one she pulls when his antics go too far. It’s the face she makes when she’s angry at being upset, because she thinks that she’s making a mountain out of a molehill. Architect, he feels awful.

In an effort to distract himself, he picks up the duvet from the floor. He has to roughly pull it from underneath the thick layers of blankets that Pandoria had hastily kicked to the floor earlier. He grasps the soft fabric tight, glancing to the sprawled out form of Pandoria, slightly shivering in the chill of the night. With hesitant hands, he pulls it back onto the double bed, carefully tugging the corners upwards, resting over her hips. She stiffens as he gingerly brings the covers up to her shoulders, his fingers gently brushing her bare arms as he retreats.

He shakes his head, quickly stumbling to the other side of the bed before clumsily climbing in and pulling his side of the duvet over his bare chest. He lies flat on his back, stiff as a board.

It’s not even that big of a bed, yet the space between them feels endless.

He knows that Pandoria’s just annoyed with him. They spend all their time with one another, arguments are bound to happen from time to time. Even still, that doesn’t make him feel any better. He swore to protect her and even if it’s something silly like this, he hates to be the one who’s making her hurt. He knows that in the morning, after a good night’s sleep and a hearty breakfast, she’ll laugh and make fun of his antics but right now...

He dithers, unsure on what to do. He doesn’t want to make things worse, but he just feels really bad. Pandoria always tells him he should think before he acts. He should really take that advice to heart.

As in, he’ll admit that sometimes his stupid, spontaneous ideas are good, but he’ll be the first one to admit that sometimes they can be a bit too much - even for people, like Pandy, who are pretty much immune to any of the stupid things he does by now.

But he can’t sleep knowing that she’s upset with him, and he’s certain that she won’t be able to either. He hates knowing that people are angry with him. The fact that it’s Pandoria only makes it worse.

“I’m sorry, Pandy.” He whispers into the darkness.

There’s no response. He’s not really surprised, to be honest. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but the guilt still curls deep in his stomach.

He hands tense into fists, eyes shut tight as he wills the sinking of his heart to disappear so he can just try and go to sleep.

So when he feels a slight dip in the bed, hears a little creak of the mattress, he’s certainly surprised. That feeling only grows as he feels a tentative hand rest softly on his chest.

He carefully turns to his side, shifting slightly to look at Pandoria’s sleepy gaze, illuminated through the dim light shining from her shoulders. Her fingers are cold as she traces the scar on his chest, fingers ghosting over the fractured piece of core crystal embedded in his skin.

“You know I’m not that mad, you dork.” She whispers, eyes fond and smile soft. She burrows into his chest, unruly hair brushing against his chin and her long legs tangling with his own. One of her hands find his and he smiles against her as she intertwines their fingers. “And I know you feel bad. You kinda should, because that was mean, but you feeling bad is making me feel bad.” She pauses, thumb absently tracing over a large scar on Zeke’s knuckles. “I’m just tired. You know I get cranky when I don’t get my beauty sleep.” He can feel her lips gentle against his chest, her warm breath ticklish on his skin. She rests against him, long eyelashes fluttering as she dozes.

“You don’t need beauty sleep, my dear. Just your radiant smile can light up a whole room.” He says as he pulls her tighter against him. She doesn’t respond for a moment and Zeke almost wonders if she’s fallen to sleep. “You’re such a goof.” She responds, and he can’t help but grin sharply at the slight tremor in her voice. She won’t admit it, but she loves his cheesy compliments. “A goof you’re in love with.” He retorts. She huffs a laugh, but makes no move to argue.

The room grows quiet and Zeke can hear Pandoria’s breaths slow as she falls to sleep. Drowsiness overtaking him, he sighs as he closes his eyes. Just before he drifts off, he quietly mumbles something.  
  
“I still think the Zekenator is a good name.”

Silence.

“Ow! Pandy! That hurt!”

**Author's Note:**

> I’m blessing (or cursing, lmao idk how good my writing is so) you with some more PanZeke food. I’ve got a few more ideas in mind for new oneshots and I’ve actually got a proper AU that I might consider doing but I’ve got a huge like 100,000 word piece for another fandom that’s been in the works since February so idk if I’ll ever get round to writing something big like that ever again. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy my trash bc I sure as hell enjoy shitting out words.


End file.
